what if i don’t like my nurse? or even my doctor?
You do not have to accept care from anyone you do not feel comfortable with. The end.
If you are not jiving with your nurse for whatever reason, you can ask for a new nurse. Usually, the best way to go about this is to call the nurses desk and ask to have a private conversation with the charge nurse, who is the nurse supervisor for that shift. You can explain your reasoning to the charge nurse if you would like to, but you don’t have to. A simple, “I would like a new nurse” is sufficient. Once you have asked for a new nurse, you can also stipulate that you do not want the previous nurse to reenter your room. The charge nurse will figure it out for you and that will be that.
If you don’t like your doctor, for whatever reason, the procedure is pretty much thesame. Ask for the charge nurse, and tell them that you want your care transferred either to the hospitalist team or another on-call doctor.
I’ve helped clients do both of these things, and while it sounds scary, it’s a really simple process and the charge nurse will handle it for you. You don’t have to tell the nurse or the doctor to their face, unless you want to.
The doctors that I have seen fired by their patients are often ones that my clients didn’t get along with in the office, and then they happened to be on call when my clients went into labor. They simply denied care from that provider.
If your doctor or nurse commits some kind of egregious error, bullies you, or forces a procedure on you that you have declined, these are situations that can and should be escalated to hospital administration. You have a right to good care from providers that you trust, and if you are not receiving it, please speak up.
Having a doula on your birth team is great for facilitating these kinds of conversations, and helping you advocate for yourself. I can think of two distinct occasions when the family informed me that the sole reason they hired me was to help them in case this became an issue. The kicker is, that when a doula is in the room, the providers tend to be on their best behavior because they know someone else is watching.
This also underscores why having a doula who is not a hospital employee is hugely beneficial, as it is harder to push back against a system that also controls your paychecks. This is why I will never be a hospital employee, because sometimes my job is to tell you when the hospital is wrong.
If you would like to brainstorm some advocacy scenarios and how to navigate them, let’s chat! Schedule a one-on-one with me here, or download my free Advocacy Mini-Workbook.
Christine Rogers is a birth doula and childbirth educator. She is the owner/operator of Draw Near Doula Services and serves in-person in Anchorage, Eagle River and the Mat-Su Valley regions of Alaska, and offers virtual doula services and education all over the United States. A mom of four, she works hard to ensure every client she serves has a positive and empowering labor experience, because no one should have to be afraid of birth. When not doula-ing, she’s a writer, baker, aspiring potter (as in bowls and vases, thank you very much), and her love languages are mason jars, dangly earrings, and Dr. Pepper.
Need a doula? Looking for childbirth education? Find Christine’s services online at www.drawneardoula.com. You can also follower her online on Instagram & Facebook: @drawneardoula .
