10 Phrases to help you advocate for yourself during labor
One of the biggest fears that I consistently see in my clients and other expecting moms is that they will not be listened to while they’re in labor. This fear is 100% grounded in reality, as we live in a country with a very flawed maternal care system.
As a doula, part of my job is helping my clients advocate for themselves. Here are my favorite phrases for getting that job done.
Can you explain the risks and benefits of this option?
What other alternatives are there?
I need you to stop and explain before continuing.
I understand your recommendation, but I’m choosing differently.
Please don’t touch me without asking.
Is this an emergency? If not, I would like time to discuss this with my support team.
This feels overwhelming. Please slow down.
I’m not comfortable making a decision under pressure.
I’ve changed my mind and would like to do something different now.
I do not consent.
Remember that you are in charge. You can be polite, but firm. You do not have to ask permission for anything (for instance, saying, “Please turn the lights down” instead of “Can we turn the lights down?”).
I encourage you to create a birth plan (use my free Birth Plan Checklist). This will help you understand your options before labor, and give you a better idea of what things are aligned or not aligned with how you want to deliver your baby.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure of where to start, I offer one-on-one support to help create birth plans, work on advocacy strategies, and talk through decision making tools at your pace. It’s a space focused completely on you and what matters most in your experience. You can also download my free Advocacy Mini Workbook to help you get started on your journey to an empowered birth.
Christine Rogers is a birth doula and childbirth educator. She is the owner/operator of Draw Near Doula Services and serves in-person in Anchorage, Eagle River and the Mat-Su Valley regions of Alaska, and offers virtual doula services and education all over the United States. A mom of four, she works hard to ensure every client she serves has a positive and empowering labor experience, because no one should have to be afraid of birth. When not doula-ing, she’s a writer, baker, aspiring potter (as in bowls and vases, thank you very much), and her love languages are mason jars, dangly earrings, and Dr. Pepper.
Need a doula? Looking for childbirth education? Find Christine’s services online at www.drawneardoula.com. You can also follower her online on Instagram & Facebook: @drawneardoula .
